Poems by Alicia Jo Rabins
The Cup at the Side of the Bed
I followed the puddle to the cloud
I followed the cloud to the well
I followed the well to the cup
At the side of the bed
Where my sister lay laboring
Her voice was my voice
But her story was not my story
I could not help her
Across the country I sat vigil
Counting petals and reciting the lessons
Calendula for the skin
Oatstraw for the nerves
Peapod for holding
Cloud for letting go
Goodbye to the One I Was
To the one who greeted me in the mirror
To the one who waited around the corner
To the one who quit this and that
Who started this and that regularly
To the one who got everything she wanted
Extrovert introvert
Tart body pillow of the body
No-belly
Small belly
Cute belly
To the one who left
A Sumerian storm demon
Named Lilitu behind
To the one who carried my babies
Through the darkness
The one who named them
Who climbed the scaffolding
Of her own heart to offer sunflowers to the angry gods
Goodbye to the one who was alone
Whose hand the doula held
To birth stories
I bury those minutes in the garden
As the baby grows free
Of his babyness
I grow free
Of self
Photo: Lucinda Roanoke
Alicia Jo Rabins is a poet, musician and Torah teacher based in Portland, Oregon. Her poetry book, Divinity School, was awarded the 2015 APR/Honickman First Book Prize and she tours internationally with her band, Girls in Trouble. www.aliciajo.com