Daily Forecast: Mistpouffer

Alexis Macnab


Today I am partly girlie. Pink shirts likely in morning with a chance of earrings later on. But not so heavy as this weekend’s mascara. It’s been a long boy-spell. The vest index was high, barometric penis envy topped last season’s record. Due to climate change, the polar hips have been shrinking at the rate of one centimeter a year. But the uterus continues to belch out toxic progesterone according to standard observation.

There was a powerful male-storm mid-month, you’ll recall. The first time this body hated its breasts for being, not just for not being enough. There was a spike in fantasies of facial hair, followed by showers of doubt. But the masculine-inversion layer is headed for the coast, where it will set out over the ocean and wait for the return of summer.

Be sure to wear plenty of dew and florals as conditions continue to feminize. But keep those neckties handy. Storms are more intense, these days, and weather is chaotic.


Alexis Macnab (all pronouns) is a writer and artist who is changing their life. A theater director and devisor in the Beforetimes, Macnab’s work has been produced across the country and supported by The Jim Henson Foundation, The Puffin Foundation, the CalArts Center for New Performance, and others. In the Aftertimes, Macnab creates on paper in words and images inspired by the way each medium enhances, obscures, and collaborates with the story it tells.



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